I would like to ask a special favor of my friends who have been sending me prayers and healing energies.
I will begin chemo on Monday at 3:00 p.m. I'd like to ask that you all give me a great drum roll of this positive energy leading up to that moment--remember me in your prayers and hold me in the light this weekend and into Monday.
Then, when 3:00 p.m. EDT rolls around on Monday, if you would take just 5 seconds to stop and focus your attention on sending a prayer/light my way--just a single concentrated pulse of love--I would be very appreciative. It seems like a good way to begin four months of chemo.
Thank you, very, very much, for helping me.
Brenda
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"Nubbin" on March 13, 2011
...and I'm not even in the water yet!
A mere six months after finishing treatment.
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Donating to Brenda's PayPal Account
Some of Brenda's friends have set up an account to help Brenda cover some of her medical expenses as well as having some extra funds for vitamins, special food needs and alternative health treatments.
You can use this PayPal button to make a donation in any amout. The funds go straight to Brenda. You don't need to have a PayPal account to send funds this way and it is very secure. If you prefer to send a check or deposit straight to her SECU account please email for further instructions. Thank you for your generosity.
You can use this PayPal button to make a donation in any amout. The funds go straight to Brenda. You don't need to have a PayPal account to send funds this way and it is very secure. If you prefer to send a check or deposit straight to her SECU account please email for further instructions. Thank you for your generosity.
Warren Guido Denzler
"Nubbin" on March 13, 2011
Kayaking - July 3, 2011
...and I'm not even in the water yet!
Brenda -- September 2010
A mere six months after finishing treatment.
Brenda October 2009
An Acceptance Manifesto
I accept that I have the diagnosis of cancer.
I accept that I have been brought to NED status (maybe “cured,” or maybe not; only time will tell).
I accept that it is very, very possible -- if not, indeed, probable -- that I will become metastatic at some point in the future.
I do *not* accept that when I become metastatic, it means that the only kind of treatment goal that is worth having is to try to contain the cancer and keep me symptom free for as long as possible.
I choose a return to NED status as my first-line treatment goal if/when I become metastatic.
I accept that this treatment goal may not be achievable. Indeed, statistically speaking, it is not at all likely.
I accept that if we try but cannot achieve Stage IV NED, our goal will become to keep the cancer contained and give me a good quality of life for as long as possible.
I accept that if we try but cannot achieve Stage IV NED, accepting the second-line, drop-back treatment goal means that eventually I will die of the cancer.
I do *not* accept dying of the cancer without even TRYING to achieve Stage IV NED first.
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If all of this means that I have not made peace with my diagnosis, then may I never, ever, ever make peace with it. May I never, ever give in to premature surrender disguised as “acceptance.”
I accept that I have been brought to NED status (maybe “cured,” or maybe not; only time will tell).
I accept that it is very, very possible -- if not, indeed, probable -- that I will become metastatic at some point in the future.
I do *not* accept that when I become metastatic, it means that the only kind of treatment goal that is worth having is to try to contain the cancer and keep me symptom free for as long as possible.
I choose a return to NED status as my first-line treatment goal if/when I become metastatic.
I accept that this treatment goal may not be achievable. Indeed, statistically speaking, it is not at all likely.
I accept that if we try but cannot achieve Stage IV NED, our goal will become to keep the cancer contained and give me a good quality of life for as long as possible.
I accept that if we try but cannot achieve Stage IV NED, accepting the second-line, drop-back treatment goal means that eventually I will die of the cancer.
I do *not* accept dying of the cancer without even TRYING to achieve Stage IV NED first.
-------------
If all of this means that I have not made peace with my diagnosis, then may I never, ever, ever make peace with it. May I never, ever give in to premature surrender disguised as “acceptance.”
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Jabberwock
’Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.
“Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!”
He took his vorpal sword in hand:
Long time the manxome foe he sought—
So rested he by the Tumtum tree,
And stood awhile in thought.
And, as in uffish thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came!
One, two! One, two! And through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.
“And, hast thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!”
He chortled in his joy.
By Lewis Caroll
jabberwock (definition)
1. A manifestation of the deepest level of fear in the human psyche.
2. All of the things that one is afraid of that one can put no proper name to.
3. The name of Lewis Carroll's mmonster in The poem "Jabberwocky"; it appears only when Alice is afraid and once confronted, never appears again.
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.
“Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!”
He took his vorpal sword in hand:
Long time the manxome foe he sought—
So rested he by the Tumtum tree,
And stood awhile in thought.
And, as in uffish thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came!
One, two! One, two! And through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.
“And, hast thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!”
He chortled in his joy.
By Lewis Caroll
jabberwock (definition)
1. A manifestation of the deepest level of fear in the human psyche.
2. All of the things that one is afraid of that one can put no proper name to.
3. The name of Lewis Carroll's mmonster in The poem "Jabberwocky"; it appears only when Alice is afraid and once confronted, never appears again.
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